Not Me Monday! On not Monday Tuesday.

Welcome to Not Me Monday!
Free therapy brought to you courtesy of
MckMama.
Hop on over to see what she and all the other
moms have not been doing this week.

(Sorry this is late...We had another visit to the

pediatrician Monday {Noah does have an ear infection,

and his eyes and nose are just POURING snot!}

and after being gone most of the day,

I was too busy and then just too tired!!)

While driving in the car the other day, we were not

totally jammin to Single Ladies by Beyonce.

Ashton did not look at me, dead serious, and say,

"Is she saying, 'I'm a Chevrolet?'"

I did not almost drive off the road laughing.

(Don't know the song? Go back and watch this

post. It's the song the baby is dancing to. She

actually says, "All the single ladies" over and over.)

Noah's potty training is on again, off again, but when

when we're 'on' he doesn't say the funniest stuff!!

The other day we'd been sitting there for about 15

minutes with nothing happening and I was trying to

rush him along. He grabs his whacker, stares at it

a minute, looks at me shaking his head and says,

"I fink da baddewies dest runned out!"

Another time, he pulled his whacker up and pointed

to his scrotum and said,

"Mommy, what's dis?"

After a moment trying to remember what we

call them (cause, ya know, it's all about consistency when you're

teaching your kids the wrong names to call their

private parts!) I finally just said,

"That's your scrotum."

He looked at me like I had lost my mind.

"Noooooo, dat not my FWOTOM!!"

I was not on the phone the other night with a friend

that I don't get to chat with very much. She did not

call to pick my brain for all my useless wonderful

Disney knowledge. I am not a virtual well of still

useless all-things-Disney knowledge. I do not love

going to Disney, and helping friends plan fantastic,

fun family trips!

Since I never had that phone conversation, and I never get

caught up on the phone and forget to check on my little

ones for more than a few minutes at a time, I was

certainly not still on the phone when the following

story didn't happen.

I realized that Noah was, once again, sans diaper.

I went into the living room to re-diaper him when I

was assaulted by much foul odor. Though I have blocked

much of it from my memory, I think this is pretty much

what went down:

"Noah, why don't you have on a diaper?"

"And why does the living room REEK of poo-poo??"

"And what's that all over the couch???"

"OMGOSH!! Did you seriouly wipe poop all over

the couch????"

"AND THE RUG?????"

"AND WHAT IS THAT ALL OVER EMM...???"

I'm pretty sure that by this time my voice had escalated

to decibels that only dogs could hear. My friend was

laughing her butt off expressing her sympathy, though,

so even if she couldn't understand what I was saying anymore,

she certainly understood what was going on.

The worst part was that when I picked up the diaper,

there was NO POOP RESIDUE IN IT. Yep.

He totally took his diaper off, took a poop, and smeared

it across half the living room and let his sister play in

it too!! (I'm wondering about the whole

'teach them to share' thing now.)

I finally took a deep breath

(through my mouth-the smell was RANK)

and told my friend,

"I think I need to get off the phone now and clean my

kids and living room up. I'll talk to you later."

She was laughing so hard she was only able to screech out

"Ok! I can't wait to read your blog this week!!!"

And THAT, my friends, is what

NEVER HAPPENED TO ME

this week.

P.S. Be watching for a giveaway the end of the week!

TTFN,