Validated

Warning: This post is going to be on a controversial

topic. Which is why I'm writing it in the first place.

Cause it shouldn't be.

One of the hardest parts of raising children, to me, is

the discipline part. If I'm being totally honest, Paul and I

don't always see eye to eye on how discipline should be

handled. We have, after many years of struggle, finally

stopped criticising each other's methods in front of the children.

(I know-horrible and inexcusable! We are finally trying

to always back each other up as much as possible!)

There are still times, however, when I say nothing in the moment

because I don't want to contradict him in front of the kids but then

when we're alone, I am quick to point out if I didn't agree with

how he handled things. And he does the same.

In our defense, we also comment when we think the other handled

a situation well. I think this kind of support is very important!!

Now...these discussions are in some ways good and bad.

They are good because sometimes we fuss without seeing the

whole situation and the other can either defend or explain the

behavior (not in front of the kids) and we can discuss how it

could have been handled differently. We can then go to the

child(ren) and discuss what happened and why.

They are bad because it sometimes feels like we are second guessing

each other. Paul is the heavy and I am the softy. This causes

friction sometimes because some issues he thinks are big deals

I don't always see that way.

You would think at this point we would have our act together,

but honestly, as the kids get older, the need for different,

still useful discipline is making things difficult!

For example, we can't punish Ashton and Sydney the same way

we punish the little ones-time out or standing in the corner just

don't have the same effect on the older two!

So, I guess discipline is an ever evolving thing.

One thing we never disagreed on was spanking.

We DO spank our children. But only when;

A) they are young

B) all attempts at other discipline have failed, or

C) their behavior is endangering themselves or others.

Now let's be clear. We DO NOT beat our children or physically,

mentally, or emotionally abuse them in ANY WAY. We

love our children more than life itself and only provide what

we consider disciplline in the form of loving guidance.

Having said all that, I need to say that the world has taken

spanking and made it taboo. Parents who spank are the

pariahs of society and their children are doomed to either die

at the hands of their violent parents or become violent societal

misfits themselves.

Studies have shown this is true. Right?

Finally, there is a study that shows differently.

Read here:

Study: Spanked Children May Grow Up To Be Happy,

More Successful

Most everyone I know and have ever known were spanked.

I was spanked. And none are any the worse for it today.

Most are wonderful people raising wonderful children

who are almost always also spanked.

And after years of feeling like I needed to hide the fact that

I spank my children, I finally feel validated. Isn't it horrible

that we can allow society so much control over what should

be very personal decisions??

Do you spank your children? (or did you when they were little?)

Just wondering.

TTFN,