Not Me Monday...is it over already?!?

Let me start by saying we did not have a super-fantastic

Christmas/New Year holiday.

Christmas was not the usual mad dash, last minute shopping

that it usually is, although it was not better than years past

-think; this year we were only still shopping the weekend before

versus still shopping on Christmas Eve in the past-

I know. Nice.

I did not, for a few days, let the house go to the point that I wanted

to close my eyes as I walked through it. This would not have

been seriously dangerous, as there were toys EVERYWHERE.

Anyone else not have a toy factory explode in their living room?

We did not have a nice family Christmas with no travel crammed

in anywhere. We usually go somewhere on a mini-vaca in the 2

weeks the kids are out. This year we opted to stay home. It totally

did not make the time seem to last!!

Having said that, however, we did not take a spur of the moment

trip to a fantastic, fun restaurant about an hour away. As we were

leaving the house we did not decide, also spur of the moment style,

to get a hotel room for that night and did not call our closest friends

to see if they wanted to do the same!

They didn't! (Except they really did!!)

It was not a great excursion, and I probably won't do a post

about it later in the week!

I also did not book our Disney vacation for this May-

and these same friends are not going at the same time!!

And I am not so unbelievably excited!!

It was not nice to be able to put our new timeshare to

work, not just for us, but for our friends too!

I am not one of those people who is kind of sad to see 2009 go.

I did not think 2009 was a pretty good year, and I really can't

think of anything in particular to complain about.*

*Sidebar: this is not a 'my-life-is-perfect-nothing ever goes

wrong-we-have-no-problems' bluff. I am not covering

up unhappiness or telling fairy tales. I am just saying that

in 2009 for us, there was more good than bad and I prefer to

remember it that way. This sidebar was brought on by the sudden

insurgence of people demanding 'totally honest blogging' and

'full disclosure blogging.' I try to do that as much as I am comfortable with,

but come on.

It's my life, my blog, and my prerogative to tell as much

or as little as I darn well please. Sorry if that sounded harsh.

We do not have 2 birthdays in our household this month, so it's

not possible that my baby is turning 13!!! OMGosh. Writing that

made it seem so much more real!! I'm not having trouble getting

my brain around that one!! Pray for me! :)

I am also not coming up on my one year blogiversary,

AND

my 200th post!!

I am not thinking I might just have to have one wicked

fun giveaway. You know, if I can get creative!! :)

More about that later.

Not Me's aside, I cannot believe the holidays flew by so

quickly. I was not ready for Paul to go back to work, or

the kids to go back to school!! Although, I must admit, I

am loving the reinstating(reinstatement??)of naptime!!

I hope everyone had a great holiday vacation as well.

TTFN,

Not Me Monday!

Free therapy!

Head over to MckMama's and link up!

I do not already miss warm weather. I seriously dislike

cold weather and having to wear so many layers I feel like

a robot whose joints rusted.

(You know, unable to bend for all the layers of clothes with

your arms and legs stuck out at unnatural angles!)

Global warming, what??

Is that why it's unusually cold everywhere?

I am not such a cheap-o that I have not been sitting around

under a blanket and usually with my jacket on (like now)

so that I don't have to turn on the heater. Our bill this month

was not almost $70 LESS than it was last month, and I do not

think that was REALLY nice!!

In my defense, I AM making sure the kids

are all in their warm jammies all the time, and if the jammies

don't have feet in them, I put socks on them!!

I did not go out Friday night without kids OR Paul which hasn't

happened in...I can't remember when. Paul and I go out

without the kids every now and again, but I rarely go anywhere

without Paul. I did not have a good time, laughing harder

than I have laughed in years (thank you Melynda)

with some friends I hardly ever see,

and others I haven't seen in about 13 years!!

It was strange to be without my hubby, but it was still fun.

After being out Friday night, I did not have to get up and have

Sydney at the school by 8 for a parade that didn't start till 11!

We were not just a little late because I was not just a little frustrated

at having to get up so early on a Saturday when things didn't get

rolling till much later! I would never make my kid late out of spite.

Not me!!

And I did not do a blog overhaul! I do not hope y'all like it!! :)

What did you do last week?

Hope it was fun! :)

TTFN,

Not Me Monday! On not Monday Tuesday.

Welcome to Not Me Monday!
Free therapy brought to you courtesy of
MckMama.
Hop on over to see what she and all the other
moms have not been doing this week.

(Sorry this is late...We had another visit to the

pediatrician Monday {Noah does have an ear infection,

and his eyes and nose are just POURING snot!}

and after being gone most of the day,

I was too busy and then just too tired!!)

While driving in the car the other day, we were not

totally jammin to Single Ladies by Beyonce.

Ashton did not look at me, dead serious, and say,

"Is she saying, 'I'm a Chevrolet?'"

I did not almost drive off the road laughing.

(Don't know the song? Go back and watch this

post. It's the song the baby is dancing to. She

actually says, "All the single ladies" over and over.)

Noah's potty training is on again, off again, but when

when we're 'on' he doesn't say the funniest stuff!!

The other day we'd been sitting there for about 15

minutes with nothing happening and I was trying to

rush him along. He grabs his whacker, stares at it

a minute, looks at me shaking his head and says,

"I fink da baddewies dest runned out!"

Another time, he pulled his whacker up and pointed

to his scrotum and said,

"Mommy, what's dis?"

After a moment trying to remember what we

call them (cause, ya know, it's all about consistency when you're

teaching your kids the wrong names to call their

private parts!) I finally just said,

"That's your scrotum."

He looked at me like I had lost my mind.

"Noooooo, dat not my FWOTOM!!"

I was not on the phone the other night with a friend

that I don't get to chat with very much. She did not

call to pick my brain for all my useless wonderful

Disney knowledge. I am not a virtual well of still

useless all-things-Disney knowledge. I do not love

going to Disney, and helping friends plan fantastic,

fun family trips!

Since I never had that phone conversation, and I never get

caught up on the phone and forget to check on my little

ones for more than a few minutes at a time, I was

certainly not still on the phone when the following

story didn't happen.

I realized that Noah was, once again, sans diaper.

I went into the living room to re-diaper him when I

was assaulted by much foul odor. Though I have blocked

much of it from my memory, I think this is pretty much

what went down:

"Noah, why don't you have on a diaper?"

"And why does the living room REEK of poo-poo??"

"And what's that all over the couch???"

"OMGOSH!! Did you seriouly wipe poop all over

the couch????"

"AND THE RUG?????"

"AND WHAT IS THAT ALL OVER EMM...???"

I'm pretty sure that by this time my voice had escalated

to decibels that only dogs could hear. My friend was

laughing her butt off expressing her sympathy, though,

so even if she couldn't understand what I was saying anymore,

she certainly understood what was going on.

The worst part was that when I picked up the diaper,

there was NO POOP RESIDUE IN IT. Yep.

He totally took his diaper off, took a poop, and smeared

it across half the living room and let his sister play in

it too!! (I'm wondering about the whole

'teach them to share' thing now.)

I finally took a deep breath

(through my mouth-the smell was RANK)

and told my friend,

"I think I need to get off the phone now and clean my

kids and living room up. I'll talk to you later."

She was laughing so hard she was only able to screech out

"Ok! I can't wait to read your blog this week!!!"

And THAT, my friends, is what

NEVER HAPPENED TO ME

this week.

P.S. Be watching for a giveaway the end of the week!

TTFN,

Not Me Monday!

Welcome to Not Me Monday!

Free therapy brought to you courtesy of

MckMama.

Hop on over to see what she and all the other

moms have not been doing this week.

I did not get weighed and measured at Curves

last Thursday. I was not just a little disappointed

that I have only lost one pound. I was not, however,

comforted by the fact that I've lost a total of 3.5in!

And I will not admit that after the frist 2 weeks I had lost 3.5

pounds but have since put them back on. Nope, not me!

It was totally not me and hubby who left some

~ahem~

bedroom paraphernalia

in our upstairs room where the kids go to play

video games. We are totally responsible with our

stuff and never leave it where it can be found by

the kids. It was not where we left it when we rushed

to move it, however, it was shoved under the chair.

We are not fairly certain that Ashton must have found

it and just hid it. It was not quite embarrassing.

It is not my Noah who frequently 'checks' everyone

for poo-poo. He does not grab the waistband of your

pants, yank them toward the floor, and hollar,

"Do you have poo-poo, Mommy?"

(Or Daddy, or Ashna, or Ninny, etc. None of us is safe.)

That's all I got this week...Hope you had a great Monday!

TTFN,

Not Me Monday!

Alternately titled-my Not Me Monday post was finished to

the point of me typing 'TTFN' when my DSL went down and

proceeded to stay down all day because the local tower was

damaged and no one in our area had DSL or cell service

(not if you have both with AT&T, like we do) till late last night,

and the entire post was lost because for some reason the

autosave didn't, well, autosave it, so as much as I love you guys,

I'm not even gonna retype it-cause I just didn't do anything

that interesting last week.

TTFN,

Not Me Monday!

Welcome to Not Me Monday!

Created by MckMama as a way for us perfect

moms to share our perfect lives and get in some

much needed therapy in the process!

Click on over and see what she and all the other

moms have not been doing this week!

I have not been in a total funk all week. I am not moody,

weepy, or exhausted for some reason. I do not wish I could

figure out why, as no one in my house, including me, likes me

very much at the moment.

We did not finally put Emmie in a pack and play in our closet

last night. This was not a last ditch attempt to get her to

sleep better-or for Paul and I to be able to sleep in our own

bed again! We have not both been sleeping elsewhere-separately-

for much longer than I care to admit! She did not sleep through the

night, and I did not wake up with my breasts painfully tight

because she hadn't eaten since 8pm last night!!

I was not doing really well at Curves, that is, until the weekend.

Cause, you know, they're closed on weekends.

I did not totally do wonderfully last week with my eating

only to seriously blow it over the weekend. I was not thrilled,

however, when I got on the scale at Curves this morning to

discover that I had not gained any weight on my binge!!

This morning's workout did not almost kill me.

Noah is not finally showing some interest in potty training!

I am not somewhat leery of his interest. He doesn't want to

stay on the potty for extended periods of time, even AFTER

he uses the bathroom! I have not sat in the bathroom with

him for almost 30 minutes with him saying,

'I dotta dough some more, Momma. I not finish!'

At least he's trying. I guess.

That's all I've got energy for this morning. I hope everyone

had a great weekend!!

TTFN,

Not Me Monday! Get fit style!!

Welcome to Not Me Monday!

Free therapy sessions held by

MckMama!
Read on and then hop on over to see what

she and all the other moms have not done this week!

I have not been putting on weight lately. This

is supposed to be helpful to me, and it has totally not become

a weakness! I didn't take the advice on the back of the box too

far-in my defense, though, it IS there in big bold print, see??

You know you're not doing something right when you go back
for seconds on your Special K. But I wouldn't know anything
about that, ya know, cause I've never done it!
Not Me!!


In an attempt to curb my ever growning waistline, I would never
go so far as to join a place like this:

unless, of course, my MIL volunteered to keep my little ones
so that I could. Not that I would. I'm just sayin.

Armed with the knowledge that last week was my last 'free' week,
I seriously did not gorge myself all week with every single yummy
thing I could think to stuff my face with, including, but not limiting
myself to my favorites from Chili's and Olive Garden! I would never
act like a pig out of mild desperation because I knew the end of all good
food was coming. And I obviously don't have a negative attitude
towards diet and exercise. I will not have to work harder on that!

On a different note, Paul did not finally get his stitches out on
Thursday. The Dr did not give him the all clear to go back to
work today, and after having him home with me for a month, I
do not miss him terribly! I do not sort of wish that we were
indepentently wealthy so that he could be home with me all
the time!

I did not do a post everyday this weekend-a first!!! And was
not slightly disappointed that hardly anyone read them!!

I am not shamelessly pushing the weekend posts on all of you

hoping that you will go back and read them!!! Cause I would

never be so pushy! :)

Now I have to go fix the little ones lunch and go nibble on some
grass or something. The remainder of my birthday
chocolate pie is not screaming my name from the inside of
the fridge. {sigh} I won't just have to ignore it!

TTFN,

Not Me Monday!

Welcome to Not Me Monday!

Therapy for all the perfect moms out there-

like me!

Brought to you by

MckMama
Hop on over and see she and all the

other moms are not doing this week!

We do not have 3 birthdays within the first two

weeks of August. We have not had 2 of the 3 already.

As such, I have not had ridiculous amounts of cake since

August 1. And I certainly have not eaten my weight in

chocolate cake just this weekend.

Nope. Not me!

We didn't have a slumber party for Sydney on Friday

night. There were at no point giggly girls all over my house.

And at no time did they decide to go skinny-dipping!

I was not extremely thankful that is was basically dark

outside and didn't make them stop their 'nude water ballet!!'

Seriously, people. Could I make this stuff up?!?

The girls did not start school on Wednesday. Summer

could not possibly be over, cause, ya know, it just started

last week, right?? Time totally doesn't fly.

And speaking of time not flying, Jacob did not go to school on

Friday. I know this because my Jacob could not possibly

be old enough to go to kindergarten! He's just too little!

If he had gone, which he didn't, remember, his uniform

pants couldn't possibly have been a size 3-and his polos only

a size 2!! (See!! I told you he is little!!) My little man. :)

See you again next week for the next installment!

Or not!

TTFN,

Not Me Monday! She Works Hard For The Money style!

Welcome to Not Me Monday!

Created by MckMama as a way for all us

royally messed up perfect moms

to share our seriously whacked out perfect week.

Hop on over to MckMama's blog and see what she and

all the other moms have not been doing this week.

Ok, so this totally happened a few weeks ago-I'm not just now

catching up! As a doting mom, I am never unaware of any

of my children's whereabouts. And as such, my youngest two

are not left alone in the living room for short periods

of time while the rest of us congregate in the kitchen.

Noah is able to open doors, for the most part, but usually just

doesn't, so it's usually not a problem-we just keep the

doors shut.

This particular evening, however, when Jacob went

back into the living room, he did not call out,

"Momma, Emmie's crying, but I can't see her."

We did not all fly into the living room only to

find that he was indeed telling the truth! There was

crying, along with banging, but the crying baby was nowhere

in sight! We quickly realized the crying was coming from my

room and all rushed in there to discover my bathroom door

shut with the crying banging baby on the other side.

Only it wasn't Emmie, it was Noah! We opened and

they were both in there playing with soap and Noah had

gotten some in his eyes. Ashton scooped Noah up and ran

him to the other bathroom to flush his eyes out while I grabbed

Emmie who was making a frantic b-line for the toilet-giggling

madly all the way. I washed her up and thankfully they were

both fine. And that's where the story ends.

NOT.

The next day I went in and used the bathroom, flushed

and went on about my day. Later in the day I went

back again and saw that there was toilet paper in there-

curious, cause the kids don't use my potty unless there

is someone already using theirs, but it does happen,

and they are notorious for not flushing, so I didn't really

think too much about it. I pottied and flushed, but this time

I was in the bathroom long enough to watch in horror as

the toilet began to back up. Thankfully it stopped at the rim

without spilling over!! After a minute of thinking,

I realized what had probably happened. Emmie happened.

That's why she was running to the toilet with the soap in

her hands-she had certainly already thrown something in there

and was on her way to throw the soap in!

I called Paul and told him. His idea? For me to reach my hand in and

see if I could pull anything out. WHAT?? OMGosh. 'Your hands

are smaller than mine anyway,' he said. UGH. Whatever.

So I tried and couldn't find anything.

~Word to the wise-if you ever have to stick your hand in a toilet

use a bowl or something to scoop most of the water out first!!~

The next day Paul pulled the toilet up. Still couldn't find anything.

He took it outside and used something flexible (I honestly

don't know what) to run all the way through the p-trap (that's

what that little 's' curve on the toilet is called) and

THIS is what he pulled out!!

NO! We do not bring home LOTS of soap from Disney

World. Not us. Anyway, apparently they were

in the bathroom quite a while.

Or would have been-you know-if that story were true.

Which it totally isn't.

Then, because my hubby went and tried to de-thumb

himself the next day, guess who had to put the toilet back down??
Nope, not me!!

Plumber's crack and all. Hehe. Just kidding.

And totally forgot to take pictures. Darn.

This is what I have actually not been doing this

past week or 2-thanks again to the above mentioned

de-thumbing attempt.

1. Wiping every butt.

2. Giving every bath-including helping Paul

who can't get his stitches wet.

(Lucky for him he can wipe his own butt left handed)

3. Brushing the teeth.

4. Cooking every meal.

5. Cleaning up after said meals.

6. All housework-inside and out.

If you can think of it, I have not done it-by my self.

What? There's not a paycheck? Cause I've really been working

hard for the money this week. I guess I'll just have to

be happy with all the smiles, giggles,

hugs, kisses, and 'I love you's'.

Cause all that's not what I'm really here for anyway.

(Ok maybe it really is :)

Hope you enjoyed this week's therapy session.

I know I didn't.

Hehe.

TTFN,

Not Me! Monday-vacation style!!

Welcome to "Not Me" Monday-

Where we get to admit deny

all the not-so-fantastic things we

didn't do this week. Cause, you know,

we'd never admit the things we actually did.

Brought to you by MckMama.

Hop on over and read what she and

all the other moms have not done this week!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

We did not take a vacation to Atlanta this week!

It was not a 4 day church trip that we just extended

to make a full 7 day vacation! I would never insist on

stopping by here

along the way, because it is not my ALL TIME FAVORITE

nut place! And I don't mean the padded wall kind of nut place either!

I'm talking PECANS! OMGosh. And I have not totally eaten a whole

bag of my favorite kind-honey glazed-in a week!!

Cause I'm totally not that gluttonous!

(well, I might have shared some)

(And I might share some with one of YOU

when I hit my 100th post in a day or two-just sayin!)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I didn't mildly freak out when I looked up and saw THIS

out the front windshield!! (Thankfully, I wasn't driving!) Once

I realized there wasn't any danger , I didn't immediately grab

my camera with this exact post in mind!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My two little ones did not wake up every morning of

vacation by 6 AM. Since Paul got up around that time anyway,

I seriously didn't put them both in the bed with me

in the hopes of getting more sleep-and, as evidenced by

this pic I was able to snap by playing the ISO setting

on my camera (thanks, MckMama and Brittany!) it didn't

work, EVERY MORNING!

I was not then able to catch a few more hours sleep.

It was so not wonderful.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

We didn't spend an entire day in the Six Flags White

Water Park. I do not have a one year old who HATES

water. It didn't take hours for me to convince her

to just STAND ON THE GROUND! Finally, she didn't

let me set her down, and she didn't run around

waving and grinning at everyone. But she would have

never still freaked out EVERY time water touched her!

She didn't look totally cute in her bathing suit, and got no

comments at all from passing strangers about it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

And in one of the unfunniest moments of the week,

Paul and I took this pic

in which I am absoutely not wearing Emmie's bow in my

hair-cause that would be just silly-and I would
never post a pic if I did. This is not one of mine and Paul's

favorite characters, and as we were walking away, Jacob

did not ask, "Momma, why is his name 'Popcorn Leghorn?'"

Nope, my kids know their Looney Tunes better

than that!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Anyway, sorry this is so late!!

TTFN,

Not Me! Monday-cell phone picture style!

Welcome to Not Me! Monday!

Where we get to air all our dirty

totally clean laundry from the past week.

Created by MckMama over at

My Charming Kids

as a way to ease all the mommy guilt-

without really fessing up to anything!

Join in, read along, then hop over to MckMama's

blog and read what she and all the other

moms have not been doing this week!

So, this week I am not going to share with

you the fun of going out and about with my brood.

Not that there's anything at all to talk about.

Like, Jacob, for instance. He's totally all boy, all the time.

He would never put on hula apparel at Target-never

encouraged by Sydney-and dance down the aisles doing

the hula. He's so not in touch with his feminine side!

And since he would never do this, I certainly would

never take a picture of it with my phone

(since I have my camera with me everywhere, right?)

and then I would refuse to post it on my blog for the world

to see! Hula on, my handsome boy, and keep

giving me pictures to not show your future wife!

Cause I would never embarrass you like that!

While eating at Chick-Fil-A, we don't enjoy the free
Cheerios they have available for the little ones. While
munching on these yummy Cheerios, if a big sister-
not naming any names Ashton-
decided to lick one and stick it on a sweet Emmie's forehead,
I would absolutely not allow it to stay there the duration
of the time we were there because I didn't think
it was totally hilarious. I also wouldn't take pictoral evidence of
said Cheerio and never post it here
because I am sure that none of you would ever want to see such
horrific abuse of a cheerio beautiful baby girl.

Lastly, while perusing through Wally World, I would
never park a buggy containing my two year old close enough to
any shelf for him to be able to reach anything on it. I would also
never be paying so little attention to that particular buggy
(I mean come ON, I literally have 3 buggies people!)
that my two year old could have time to grab himself a box of
day old, reduced, jumbo blueberry muffins,
get them open, and proceed to eat HALF of one before
I realized he was saying repeatedly, 'I dot boo-betties, momma!'
Pay no attention to the half-eaten muffin in his other hand.
It is only an illusion.

And this is still not him eating his, while now offering me one.
OMGosh, I can't turn my back on this kid for a second!

I totally did not repackage the remaining muffins,
and at Ashton's recommendation
after tasting Noah's, did not go pick up another box
to go along with the one we already had.

My cell phone has never come in handy is these situations,
you know, cause they never happened.
Life with my 5 is NEVER dull.
And that's the truth. See you next week!
TTFN,

Not Me! Monday!

Not Me! Monday.

This fantastic outlet for not admitting all things

that could be considered 'mom guilt' was created

by MckMama over at

My Charming Kids.

Hop on over and see what she and all the

other blog moms have not been doing this week.

Ok, I would never be unbelievably

guilt ridden for not throwing my baby a

first birthday party on her birthday. Especially when her

birthday was on a weekend day and we totally

could have had it. I was completely unbusy all last

week with Bible school every morning, and

ball games every night and just couldn't get it together!

I would not tell anyone that I seriously did not

cry my eyes out Saturday night when I put her

to bed because I didn't feel like the

worst mom on the planet.

I also would never cry my eyes out again Sunday

night when I put her to bed because I am

not in denial about the fact that she is

already a year old! And in the birthday

tribute post I did for her, I would absolutely

NOT post a HUGE belly shot from the

night before she was born.

Uh-uh! Not Me!!

After having a great week in Bible school,

I was really not just a bit happy that it was

over with! My class was wonderful, but the

getting up so early and getting everyone

dressed was too much like school days for my taste!

I was not rejoicing to read over at Kelli's blog

that several children walked the aisle Sunday morning

after hearing about Jesus all week in VBS, though,

so that doesn't make it all worth it!

Thank you, Lord!!

We did not spend the whole day (and night)

bathing suit shopping on Saturday.

I would never find a suit that I actually

liked, that made Paul whisper something blush-worthy

in my ear, and that covered all the wrong curves

only to put it back because I already have one

at home that I can still wear-even though I don't like it!

I am not so cheap that I won't by myself a new suit!!

And I do not get hives just thinking about wearing

a bathing suit in front of other people, especially

since I haven't put several pounds back on after

losing a lot of Emmie-baby weight!

I have not determined to diet before vacation,

and I would never let something as

simple as snack time at VBS to undermine it for me!

I would never!! Nope!!

I am not just a little frustrated that I am having

trouble with strikethroughs on my blog

When I try to strike out a word now, it strikes

out everything afterward too!!

It is not maddening because I have never

done it successfully many times before!

Well, that's totally not enough confession

for today!

TTFN,

P.S. Don't forget there's still time to

enter my Father's Day Giveaway!!

Just click here before midnight Wednesday!!